Old Jews Telling Jokes by Sam Hoffman

Author:Sam Hoffman [Hoffman, Sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-345-52245-0
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2010-03-25T16:00:00+00:00

DANIEL OKRENT

Daniel Okrent’s achievements in media and publishing are too numerous to mention. Seriously, too numerous. Also, an account of his writings (four books!) and scholarship (Shorenstein Fellow at Harvard’s Kennedy School!) wouldn’t fit in this space. But I would be egregiously remiss if I didn’t tell you he invented rotisserie baseball! This is like having Thomas Edison tell you a joke.

Schmuck

Feldman comes down to breakfast one morning. He’s sitting at the table having his breakfast. His wife’s across the table as usual, with the newspaper in front of her.

She suddenly drops the newspaper, looks at him, and says, “I’m through with you.”

He says, “What are you talking about? We’ve been married for forty years.”

“Yeah. And for forty years you’ve been a schmuck. The day I met you you were a schmuck; I just didn’t realize it. For forty years you’ve been the essence of schmuckness. You’re such a schmuck, you’re the second-biggest schmuck in the whole world.”

Feldman says, “If I’m such a schmuck, how come I’m only the second-biggest schmuck in the world?”

“Because you’re a schmuck.”

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